


I Would Not Fault You, For All The Scars I've Given

by FanDreams01



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Guilty Edelgard von Hresvelg, Mentioned Claude von Riegan, Mentioned My Unit | Byleth, Minor My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Post-Black Eagles Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Post-Canon, Reflection, Trauma, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:41:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29636190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanDreams01/pseuds/FanDreams01
Summary: It is those she dragged along with her, tarnishing them in stains and scars, that she regrets. Her classmates who had followed her with a loyalty she couldn’t fathom and faith she wished not to let down.And yet she had, in her opinion, by simply letting them accompany her.~~~Edelgard reflects on how the war has effected those she cares for.
Relationships: Black Eagles Students & Edelgard von Hresvelg, Caspar von Bergliez & Linhardt von Hevring
Kudos: 7





	I Would Not Fault You, For All The Scars I've Given

Edelgard knew her path would be stained with red and she would reach the other side a changed woman. She’d been prepared for it and would never regret it.

Hubert had been as well, and Edelgard had known she wouldn be able to sway him from standing at her side through it all. And Edelgard is relieved to see he has remained relatively unscathed by the mental strain of war, staying his loyal, stoick self, perhaps even growing a bit more open with her and their closest allies, or at the very least more friendly toward them - a welcome change either way.

It is those she dragged along with her, tarnishing them in stains and scars, that she regrets. Her classmates who had followed her with a loyalty she couldn’t fathom and faith she wished not to let down. 

And yet she had, in her opinion, by simply letting them accompany her.

In the first few months after the declaration of war and Edelgard’s crowning, Ferdinand had wandered like a lost puppy. He did not seem surprised to hear of his father’s deeds, and Edelgard wondered if he himself had experienced pain at the hands of that man, and after a week of watching him Hubert had concluded Ferdinand was in no way scheming against them. No, instead he was unsure of what to do with himself in the face of a system that possibly no longer held a position for him and backed off from his trademark declaration of who he was, as if it were something to be ashamed of. Then he threw himself into the thick of the war, strategizing, training and leading to the best of his ability.

Bernadetta had gained some confidence in herself, if only on the battlefield, and while Edelgard was proud of the progress the girl had made to get over her trauma, she hated herself for giving the younger a  _ true reason _ to jump and fret and fear for herself even when out of battle.

Dorothea appeared tired and haunted. She was an inspirer, an entertainer and a beauty, she was not meant for war and yet Edelgard painted her in a different red than the silks and satins she wore to perform. Her solaces were the smiles offered, the songs hummed and the elegant movements Dorothea still mustered.

Caspar was energetic and loud as ever, but Edelgard could feel the darkness and guilt that hung over him. As one of their strongest members he was often at the frontlines and had killed many. Some joy had bled from his being, and Edelgard somewhat missed his childish declarations of spars and that he would get taller, which happened less often than before.

Linhardt had never been suited for war, Edelgard had always known. He hated the sight of blood, and hated being the cause even more. She’d always taken comfort in the knowledge she need not fear his curiosity because there were lines he simply would not cross no matter what. And yet she’d ignored that for her own needs, putting him in the position of needing to fight and heal for the sake of himself and his dearest friends. She’d caught him once, after a battle, scrubbing at his hands, already sensitive from overuse of magic, until his hands were raw and bloody, guilt clawed at her insides and had prevented her from stepping forward and stopping him despite her horror. 

Eventually Caspar had appeared, stopping the green haired man himself and pulling him into his arms. The two clung to each other even more than they had in their academy days, and Edelgard could not bring herself to step in despite fearing what would happen should one of them fall - the thought terrified her, she couldn’t lose any of them. She understood well the need for physical comfort and understanding and would not deny any of her friends that.

Petra was a warrior, through and through, the power of Brigid coursed through her and Edelgard was glad their generation had not been the one to fight, for she knew the princess would have ravaged the Empire’s army. But Edelgard caught her longing looks at the horizon, a homesickness hanging heavily around her. Had it not been for the war, Petra would have long been able to return home and the two could work for a peace that benefited both parties instead of the relationship Adrestia and Brigid currently had as colonizer and colony. But that’s not the case, and it is one more guilt to put on Edelgard’s shoulders.

But the war has ended - both her crusade against the Church and her underground operation against the Siltherers - and Edelgard must face her friends.

Ferdinand once more looks unsure. As if Edelgard would listen to anyone else trying to guide her and raising their own points, concerns and ideas; as if he has not proven himself to her time and time again.

Bernadetta was still frightful.

Dorothea was beginning to bloom again, but Edelgard could see the haunted look in her eyes at times.

Caspar remained the same.

Linhardt still suffered from nightmares, seeming exhausted, and his experience with the Slitherers had made him uncomfortable with his research and passion for the moment.

And Petra was caught between two worlds.

The Professor had left to do some soul searching of their own. Edelgard believed they’d mentioned wanting to try and visit Claude in Almyra, wherever he was in the large empire.

Edelgard is left with Hubert at her side, she still has work to do, but she refuses to let down her friends once more. Before anything else, she will help them heal.

**Author's Note:**

> listen, I got bored during school and wrote this so it's probably not the best.  
> Also the title I came up with on the spot. It was originally called "Eagle Trauma." XD  
> Hope you enjoyed anyway.


End file.
